|
|
Regarding the language of business:
Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC,
the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study
in ways of improving efficiency in communications between
Government departments.
European officials have often pointed out that
English
spelling is unnecessarily difficult - for example, cough,
plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed
is a phased programme of changes to
iron out these
anomalies. The programme would, of course, be administered
by a committee staff at top level by participating nations.
In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest
using 's' instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants
in all sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the
hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are
pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in
the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made
with one less letter.
There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year,
it kould be announsed that the troublesome
'ph' would
henseforth be written 'f'. This would make
words like
'fotograf' twenty per sent shorter in print.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan
be expekted to reash the stage where more
komplikated
shanges are possible. Governments would
enkourage the
removal of double letters which have always been a deterent
to akurate speling.
We would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the
languag is disgrasful. Therefor we kould
drop thes and
kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend. By
this tim it would be four years sins the skem
began and
peopl would be reseptive to steps sutsh as replasing 'th' by
'z'. Perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by
'v', vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'. Shortly after zis, ze
unesesary 'o kould be dropd from words kontaining
'ou'.
Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations
of leters.
Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a
reli sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor
trubls, difikultis and evrivun vud find it ezi tu understand
esh ozer. Ze drems of ze Guvermnt vud finali hav kum tru.
Footnote:
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat
ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter
by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Pro Gear | Hi-Fi Gear | Gallery | Tech Support | News | Mausoleum | Mastering | Word of Mouth | About Us | SWAG
Check out the
Manley 
Sense of humour required...
Reviews | Even Bigger Factory Tour! | Manley Home Page